becoming good ancestors
a somatic healing space for men
next session: Saturday July 18, 2026
10am-12pm @ People’s Solidarity Hub, Durham
For men — and AMAB, and male-socialized people — who want to clean up the mess we inherited and make fertile ground for ourselves and future generations.
Through somatic practices and rituals, “Becoming Good Ancestors” offers a deep inquiry into how we’ve been shaped as men, and what capacities we need to build to become strong, collaborative, vibrant elders.
facilitated by J.D. Nasaw
CONTEXT:
We are living in a moment of intersecting crises — social, political, economic, environmental, existential — and in the next 25-50 years, our crossing of planetary boundaries will catalyze even more change that we cannot avoid or control.
To be fully alive, resilient, connected, and nonviolent we must unwind the male training that taught us to be separated, unemotional, dominant, and coddled.
To fully take that responsibility upon ourselves means to do at least some of that work with other men.
As the world around us unravels, our nervous systems will revert to the baseline of our training. Our bodies will automatically fall into individualism and perfectionism, seeking control and comfort, and shaming ourselves and others.
In that context, we are called to practice, prepare, grieve and awaken together for the sake of our partners, children, elders, collaborators, communities and all the lives and lands that have already suffered to maintain our broken system.
This healing space invites us to:
Bring the shit 💩 living inside, between, and around us that needs to be composted — isolation, perfectionism, control, denial, and shame.
Come home to our inherent aliveness, dignity, power, tenderness, and togetherness.
Make better mistakes than our ancestors and imagine new possibilities beyond what patriarchal masculinity has sold to us.
Become men that can act skillfully in a time of unraveling.
Questions we might explore as we practice together:
What capacities do we need to build to be agents of connection in the face of growing forces of disconnection?
How can we stay with uncertainty and unraveling without controlling or closing off? What is possible when we cultivate our listening and witnessing and let go of our fixing and knowing?
Can a group of men simultaneously experience safety, belonging, and dignity?
How do we be “good men” without cutting ourselves off from either our power or our vulnerability?
What becomes possible when we loosen our focus on what feels individually “good” and start attending to our role in our wider ecosystem? Can we care for the needs of other species and future generations alongside our own?
Can we experience joy, pleasure, and satisfaction that isn’t predicated on someone else’s pain?
What this is not:
A “self-improvement” experience aimed at helping you feel happier, have better sex, & make more money.
A space for catharsis without exploring new possibilities and ongoing practices.
Political education about male supremacy, its history and impacts (although I’m happy to give you resources for that)
Stewing in shame over the things we, or our ancestors, might have done
Complaining, blaming, or victimizing
Organizing ourselves to take collective actions, force change, or fix broken systems
A replacement for mental health crisis support or acute trauma therapy
Read notes from past sessions and visit the “Medicine Cabinet” of recommended resources in the Becoming Good Ancestors Library.
The Details
Saturday July 18, 2026
Upcoming Date(s)
10am-12pm
**doors will be locked 15 minutes after the start time
Time
Location
$25 - suggested donation
$35 - make it possible for other men to pay less
$15 - paying less makes it possible for you to attend
$8 - minimum donation to cover the cost of the event
Sliding Scale Donation
People’s Solidarity Hub, Durham
1809 Chapel Hill Rd, Durham, NC 27707
**Parking is available behind the building or on the street
from Co-Sensing with Radical Tenderness by Dani d’Emilia, Vanessa Andreotti & GTDF Collective
Co-sense with RADICAL TENDERNESS and …
Be receptive to the teachings of your shadows.
Mourn your illusions, compost your shit, ferment yourself.
Learn from repeated mistakes. Make only new ones in the future.
Discover a whole bus of different creatures inside yourself.
Look into the mirror and release the fear of disappointability, rejection and abandonment.
Face your complicity in violence and disinvest from arrogance, superiority, and status.
Let go of the fear of ‘being less’, the pressure for ‘being more’ and the need for validation.
Deprivatize failures, depersonalize lack. We all fuck up, we all cry.
Deactivate your expectations for belonging and focus on unlearning the logic of separability.
Embrace yourself as both cute and pathetic, be courageously vulnerable.
Registration for New Participants
To apply for a spot in Becoming Good Ancestors, complete this form.
If you have attended a previous event, you can use the shorter form at the BGA library instead.
After submitting, you will receive an email within 48 hours with a link to donate and secure your spot. Your spot is not reserved until your donation is received. Donations are accepted via Venmo, Paypal, or Cash app. If you are not able to donate with those services, send a message to arrange other payment methods.